Dumbest things we have done

I think there was a thread similar to this before, but I didn’t see it in a search and either way I thought a new one would be fun. I really think some of the newcomers would enjoy hearing stories from other fruit growers that prove none of us are perfect and we all do some dumb things from time to time! So if you have any funny stories about mistakes or dumb things you have done while growing fruit, please share them. We can all use a good laugh!

I’ll start, since I undoubtedly have more material for this topic than anyone!
2 years ago as I was just learning how to graft, I decided I’d try to graft a euro-pear (Bartlett) onto my one and only Asian pear tree. I carefully collected my scion wood in late winter, took great care in properly storing it in my refrigerator until grafting time, at which point I very carefully grafted the Bartlett onto my Asian Pear tree and went to great lengths to wrap and cover and care for my new graft. All last year I watched it grow with excitement and took very good care of my new graft- and it grew quite large. This spring it took off with the rest of the tree and grew strong and fast and- to my great excitement- even bloomed and set fruit. I showed many people and bragged that I was going to have 2 kinds of pears on one tree- something that was still a big deal to me as a beginning grafter. As time went on, I started to notice that the fruit on the graft was similar to the rest of the Asian Pear fruit on the tree. Long story short, by the time it ripened there was absolutely no doubt about it whatsoever…somehow I had mixed up my scion wood, and all I’d done was spent 2 years watching, caring for, and waiting for a graft that was exactly the same thing as the rest of the tree…All I had accomplished was to graft a tree onto itself! haha.


I bought and planted a golden trumpet vine - took the greater part of a decade to dig that thing out and finally extirpate its remnants




too many to count. this is going to be one long thread.


One day I was seeing red from squirrels who were not going into my traps. I was out doing something with a small sledge, I was so upset I screamed “f*** you squirrels!!!” and threw the sledge 30 feet. Then I noticed a neighbor walking on the street 20 feet further away.

Do I win the dumbest prize? :grinning:


Giving away plants that I wish I had back.


Lois, at least you were finally able to get rid of yours. I started trying to get rid of that problem well over a decade ago. I’ve given up on ever fully succeeding.

I’ve made so many mistakes that I decided to quit fussing at myself about it and just assume that most of what I do is a mistake. I’ve come to appreciate the successes as pleasantly lucky surprises.


It’s not your fault. It’s the squirrels. They won’t rest until they’ve driven all of us mad.


I don’t know if it’s the dumbest thing I’ve done, but it’s definitely one that is the most recent.

I planted blueberries. In the summer. In the South. (They were on clearance!)

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Today it’s deciding to plant 150 asparagus. Getting the bed ready now. 85x15’ of cleared meadow. 10 yards of mushroom soil and an entirely too small rototiller.

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Are there any of us who never fallen for that? I’ve been a repeat offender.

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I keep buying fruit trees even though I’m out of space.

Try to grow plum trees in SE Georgia. If ever there was a futile frustrating activity, that’s it.


Could have been bamboo.

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I inherited my wisteria from my mom. I spend more time and energy fighting it than any other gardening activity. Cherry Laurel and Mimosa are the tree equivalent.

I pruned off a recently grafted scion because “it didn’t have any leaves” so I thought it was a damaged branch that wasn’t coming out of dormancy. I now use the bright blue silicon tape to hold the scion on.



Planting a standard peach tree at my old house 2’ feet away from the fence, thinking that it will grow over the fence when it gets bigger. That was correct assumption. However somehow I missed the fact I have lilac growing on the other side of the fence, just 1’ away. I noticed it 2 years later!!! In another year I moved and the trees(all of them) were removed by a new owner to make a lawn on the steep hill(another brilliant idea, but not mine :grin:)

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I planted one of those, too, where every other vine had promptly died

If there were 100,000 rock guitarists as good a Eric Clapton and Jimmi Hendrix choosing the best one would be like trying to choose my worst mistake.

One of 100,000 is trying to keep oversized branches on trees because I can’t bear to sacrifice the wood and leave a temporary empty spot in the canopy. Another related one is keeping too many scaffolds. When in doubt- thin it out!


I laughed and laughed at your comment. I could not have said it better. I have too many individual stories.