… and I was happy!
I’m in at least 3 quarantine zones: ACP/Citrus Greening, Light Brown Apple Moth, and Diaprepes Root Weevil. The inspectors gave a clean bill of health on pests present on the property, plus took several plant samples back to the pathologist to determine if I have unwanted diseases … and of course to check if my pesticide applications have been with CA State requirements. 
Did you request them to come out?
Nope, but I can expect them once or twice a year.
How does one get on (or stay off) the USDA’s radar for such visits?
If you’re growing Citrus in southern CA, USDA APHIS will find you. And if you don’t answer your door, they’ll set up an insect trap somewhere nearby. If you have agricultural and pesticide licenses with the State of CA you’re already on their schedule.
Thanks! It seems like every second or third house has a citrus tree planted in their yard around here. I haven’t seen any inspectors, but I have seen a trap or two. Not sure if they were set by USDA APHIS or by the homeowner.
What are they looking for and what do they do if they find it?
If they find ACP (Asian Citrus Psyllid) they will test the bug for presence of Citrus Greening Disease – it is the vector (carrier). And if they they find that, I’ll immediately comply with their request for phytosanitary removal of trees.
Now if they find LBAM or DPR they’ll request a monitored abatement program – which means they’ll want to observe treatments (could be organic or inorganic) every ninety days for a year or so. No big deal.
CDFA visited me today, looking for citrus. They found an HLB-infected Psyllid in town and are now doubling down on inspection/quarantine. I’m afraid we don’t have the political will to do mass spraying like we did with the Medfly decades ago, and citrus in California is doomed. The inspector felt the same way.
Luckily, apples are immune
It wouldn’t help. HLB is a very different kind of threat.