Amusingly Bad Garden Advice


#1

Anyone care to share the most amusing or bizarre bad gardening tip they’ve been given?

Mine was an “environmentally friendly” method for killing pocket gophers–pour a box of dehydrated potato flakes in their tunnel. The gopher would supposedly eat them, then they would expand when the gopher drank water and cause it to explode.


#2

That it’s impossible to grow watermelons in my area since the nights are too cold. Turns out we actually grow the finest watermelons in our climate.


#3

That planting into straight compost will make carrots fork, and other veg won’t grow happily. I have raised beds filled with straight compost and everything grows happily, I get big straight carrots.


#4

My mom has a constant stream of advice on how growing organically is dangerous.


#5

“Only water deeply once a week” - guaranteed to kill many raises bed and container plants

“Compost your kitchen scraps!” - unless you have space for a yard of compost and are willing to manage it properly its just not worth it IMO


#6

I am getting rid of my compost pile this weekend! What a pain, and for tiny bits of compost.


#7

I got rid of mine several years ago and started burying all of it directly in the garden. No more soldier flies flying off with my nitrogen.


#8

I compost all my kitchen scraps in a tumbler. It gets to 130F or higher. I get a new load of compost every 2 weeks like clockwork. I don’t understand why composting is considered bad advice. No flies, gnats or rodents as it is raised above ground and sealed.

Do you buy compost rather than make your own?


#9

I usually need a large amount of compost all at once, at least a yard at a time. I also don’t want to deal with sifting out the unfinished material. I also have limited yard space.

My township used to provide it for free, but now that my soil is built up I really don’t have any need for compost. The woodchip mulch I add every year does the job.


#10

The best part about kitchen scrap compost is that you dont need to sift it at all. The particles are all small.


#11

Not exactly garden advice but saw a website advising that if you go to a “U-pick” seller that you should always leave a few fruits on each bush or tree or it’s considered rude. Duh, thanks let’s leave 5 blueberries on each bush.


#12

Once for black rot on grapes a local nursery suggested “kill them all” meaning the grape plants as it was incurable. I sprayed with captan and immunox instead and have not seen blackrot again nearly 5 years now. I have not sprayed grapes in 5 years. Found out some grapes are hosts such as red canadice. Grapes such as concord or seedless concord are highly resistant.


#13

A tumbler sounds like the way to go, sounds easier to manage. My outdoor pile never seems to heat up long enough to fully break things down. I just don’t get much out of it but smell. Here we can load up as much free municipal compost as we want but I am just about to the point of not needing it anymore and just using wood chips as someone else has said.

How much compost are you getting out of each tumble?


#14

“You’ll never be able to grow fruits here, well, maybe pears”. Advice given by a nursery worker while I was looking at their fruit trees!


#15

I’ve dug deep’ish holes and buried kitchen scraps. No issues. The worms seem to like it.

Hitchhikers take awhile to compost. :wink:

I don’t really listen to anyone so i don’t think i’ve been given much bad advice. I’m sure i’ve given it. “Oh sure…peaches…they do great in Wisconsin…buy a dozen”…


#16

Welp dimitri, can’t say that advice, as given to me, was bad or amusing. I water my potted lemons weekly until there’s >50% by volume in leachate. Also, toss every discarded produce, bread, rice, coffee grounds, etc. into a tumbler along with all the vegetation from my property. Space isn’t an issue, but I wouldn’t claim to be managing it properly. Hence, tumbler. Actually, two. One 30gal retail unit that finally succumbed to our harsh climate that was to be replaced with a 55gal custom diy special. This season saw both used and the larger is cooling off with a week to go. Good timing because the non-tumbling tumbler is at capacity.

Not really bad advice received from “someone,” but after searching for pruning info, online mostly, all that could be found was to give it a snip in early spring and another mid-summer for wisteria. Ya, amusing theory. Only if I feel like taking half the day for one espaliered vine. In practice, more like once monthly, minimum, with Dec-Feb off. If it was cut back only twice a year it would be impossible to enter the house through the front door!


#17

How can you tell the difference between a male and female bell pepper? There is no such thing as male and female bell peppers.


#18

Mine was not for garden but for mice killer.I bought a big bag of mice bait trying to kill the mice inside the house. This was second bag of mice bait I bought. After the muce finished first one , there are still more mice , don’t know how many but several for sure. Then I google the mice bait ingredients in different brand and looked at the bag I bought. It is said active ingredient are corn meal and salt😱


#19

@IL847
Oh goodness. So you were setting out cornbread for them


#20

I don’t know who cooked up such brilliant recipe that mice sure really voted for.